101 Things the Marauders ARN'T allowed 2 do
by IantoxJack
Summary: Remus singing, Sirius well himself, james crazy on socks and Peter and the revenge of the duckies!
1. Chapter 1

101 Things the Marauders ARN"T allowed to do.

Remus stretched and finally stood up. A loud bang, followed by a yell informed Remus that James and Sirius were currently fighting. 'More like James chasing Sirius around like two year olds." Remus thought smiling to himself.

Remus leaned against the door frame and surveyed the room around him; laughing at what he saw.

Peter was hiding under the table, trying to get away from the others; James was chasing Sirius around with a large, fluffy, pink stuffed rabbit and Sirius, was wearing a ping floral dress (complete with bonnet) running around screaming

"DON'T KILL ME! I WILL OBAY AND AGREE TO THE INL RABBITS AS THEY TAKE OVER THE WORLD!"

Remus was enjoying the show, but decided that if he didn't intervene, one of his friends would get seriously hurt.

"You know guys," he sais, sitting on the couch, waiting for their attention;

(and for Sirius to stop screaming)

"We still have to do that detention assignment that Professor McGonnagal set us."

"Awwwww…… Moony, don't spoil the fun!" James whined, throwing the bunny onto the floor and sitting next to Remus on the couch.

Sirius copied James (after making sure that the offending Bunny was well out of reach.

"Ok, but what are we going to do the it on?" Peter asked, extracting himself from under the table.

The four of them were silent for a few minutes when James spoke up.

"We could do it on all the things we aren't allowed to do!"

Sirius, grinning broadly, produced a large piece of paper and wrote on the top

'101 things the marauders ARN"T allowed to do. Then in smaller writing 'Anymore!"

"Ok!" James said, rubbing his hands, "Let's get started!"

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**101 Things the Marauders ARN"T allowed to do! ANYMORE!**

**1.** Switch all the sugar and salt shakers around.

**2. **Enchant all the statues to sing 'Sx Bomb' when a teacher walks past.

**3. **Go up to a teacher (in the middle of class, for example Proff. Mcgonnagle) and hug them and say in a loud voice; "So Minny, where are we going tonight? You promised to take me somewhere special!"

**4. **Run around the Great Hall at breakfast time screaming **"MINNY AND** **ALBUS, SITTING IN A TREE, K-I-S-S-I-N-G! FIRST COMES L-O-V-E! THEN COMES……… **UNMENTIONABLE BUSINESS, **THEN COMES MINNY WITH A BABY CARRIAGE!**

**5. **Bewitch all the bacon to make the person who eats it turn Red and Gold and start squawking like a pig! (thanks for that one Remmy!)

**6. **Run away screaming that Dumbledore murdered Remus after he was dared to do number four on this list!

**7. **Sneaking into the Slitherins common room and bewitching a certain Marauders brother to start singing 'God save the Gryffindors' in the middle of breakfast while wearing a pair of fluro orange bikini's.

**8. **Going into the Hospital wing, where Remus was after being dared to do number four and bewitching all the pillow to attack him.

**9. **Running into Professor Prinnie's room screaming that the evil talking teddys (they're not real Sirius! YES THEY ARE MOONY!) are coming to take over the world.

**10. **Imitating Professor Trelawney (or treebeard) in the middle of class and saying that everyone only had one day before the evil rubber duckies (PETER!) would come and kill everyone! (PETER, what did I say about talking to Sirius about world domination! Sorry Prongs!)

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A/N Well, that chapter one. If you want a 2nd chapter you will just have to review!

**(Evil laughter heard followed by a thud) 'Must remember not to jump off bookcase!'**


	2. Statues, Candy and Remus' ARM!

Chapter Two: Revelations.

A/N: Sirius' writing is in ( ), Remus' in # #, Peters in and James' in !

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters in this story. I chose this plot while looking at the school rules!

"Moony?"

"Yes Padfoot?"

"Why do Professor Trelawney nd Professor Kettleburn spend so much time together?"

"Remus," James said sighing, "I think it is time to tell Padfoot about the birds and the bees."

"HEY!"

"Well, it's true!" Peter argued.

They continued to argue for a few minutes.

"Now we all have that off our chests, I believe it is time to continue with our work," Remus said eating some chocolate, keeping calm.

**_MWPPMWPPMWPPMWPPMWPP_**­

**11. **No playing strip poker with any girls. (That includes Peter) hey! (Its true!)

**12. **No grabbing Severus (aka Snivellus) by the head and trying to drown him in the lake (hee hee hee!) #Shut up Sirius!#

**13. **No transfiguring students into bunnies and then making them chase Sirius around the common room.

**14. **No sneaking into the girls toilets and making chickens appear and chase all the Slitherins around.

**15. **No bewitching the portraits to strip every time a Slitherin girl or boy passes.

**16. **No making love to the suits of armour. #Not mentioning anyone, coughsiriuscough#

**17. **No telling Moaning Myrtle that if she followed james around, pelting chalk at him, he would go out with her.

**18. **No asking Rosetta to give us firewhisky, claiming that it's for the teachers party.

**19. **No asking Rosmerta out. #SIRIUS!#

**20. **No blowing up the herbology greenhouses, then claiming that you had 'one hell of a sneeze'

**21. **Do NOT go to class in your pj's.

**22. **Not allowed to go to class in someone else's pj's.

! For example Lily!

(James I asked her!)

!Sirius you were wearing nothing but a pair of floral undies and a VERY short tank top!

#Um Padfoot, WHEN did this happen?#

(Remmy, it happened the day after the full moon.)

#O-kay, I'm not sure how that justifys it but……………back to work!#

**23. **No asking Remmy if you can have some of his chocolate.

**24. **No clutching to the teacher screaming after you asked Remus if you could have any of his cholcolate.

**25. **No asking Remus if we can look at his answers.

**26. **No hiding behind Snape after asking Remus if you could look at his answers.

**27. **No painting the History classroom purple.

(I TOLD you we should have painted it pink!)

#Yes Sirius,# pats him on back #yes#

**28. **No blackmailing Lily to go out with James.

**29. **James is not allowed to talk to Lily.

**30. **Peter is not allowed to ask Lily out for James.

**31. **No making Snivellus go to breakfast in fish-net stockings.

**32. **No stealing Snapes stuff and hang it on the whomping willow.

**33. **Don't try and set Sirius' cousin Narcissa up with people (such as Slughorn, Flitwick, Snape...)

**34. **Don't leave Sirius alone with sugar and his wand, as it only means one thing-trouble.

**35. **No pretending that the socks are alive James' are!

**36. **Don't start a naturist's(nudist's)camp in McGonagall's office.

**37. **No pretending to go into a coma and die when you have a test.

**38. **After you have done number 37 jump up when the teacher comes over and yell "I saw the light!"

**39. **No locking the door when the teacher leaves to do an errand and hold the class hostage.

**40. **The staff room is Not filled of candy and we are Not allowed to tell the first years that.

**41. **No tying James' hair into a ponytail and claim the bunnies told you to.

**42. **No using the Quiddich change rooms for snogging practice.

**43. **No playing strip or snog quiddich.

**44. **No telling Peter that Remus' arm is made of candy.

(I can't believe you fell for that!)

It was very convincing!

#That hurt Peter! You nearly chewed my arm off#

!Lets just forget about it and go to bed!

(#Agreed#)

**A/N so what do ya think? And thanks everyone who reviewed. Much appreciated!**


	3. Narcissa, stalking and Potatoes

**Chapter 3. Ice-cream, Jelly and Potatoes.**

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed. I really appreciate it! **

**A/N: Sirius' writing is in ( ), Remus' in # #, Peters in and James' in !**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters in this story. I chose this plot while looking at the school rules!**

_**MWPPMWPPMWPPMWPPMWPPMWPPMWPPMWPP**_

_**We are not allowed to:**_

**45. **At a Quidditch match, bewitch the commentator to start singing the Veronicas song 4EVA.

**46. **Leave Sirius, a hot girl ad some sugar together- if you have RUN AWAY!

**47. **Try and teach owls to play wizard chess (unless you want to die!) !Hey Siri! (Yeah) !Can you jump off the astronomy tower! (Yeah. Why?) #Oh no reason!#

**48. **Tell Sirius that in the middle of the forbidden forest, there is the cutest girl in the world. # I can't BELIEVE that you fell for that!# (Shut up!)

**49. **Put Veritaserum in Snape's pumpkin juice.

**50. **Create a lake in the middle of the fifth floor, then invite the squid to stay in it.

**51. **Sleep in the transfiguration classroom over night.

**52. **Sneak into the classrooms at night and plaster incriminating baby photos of the teachers and Slytherin all around the rooms. (You will get detentions for life!)

Or be classified as insane! Mwahahahahaha!

**525. **Bunnies are **NOT** taking over the world!

#Nor are the Duckies Peter, Socks James or Potatoes Peter!#

**54. **Offer a free dating service to teachers and Slytherins and set them up with each other.

**55. **Ask for no exams. !Noce try Siri!

**56. **Try and find the 'legendary' chamber of secrets.

!Supposedly 20 years ago a girl was killed!

**57. **Tell people that the Whomping Willow is a free Quiddich practice.

**58. **hex Snape into 'tomorrow' because his hair is too greasy.

**59. **Wash other peoples hair, (eg. Snape) even if we think that we arSe doing them a favor.

**60. **Tell the first years about the 'host' in the shrieking shack.

**61. **Take advantage of Remus being a prefect and giving people detentions for no or stupid reasons. (we have been told that it will NOT be tolerated. Unfortunatly!)

**62. **Foge the signatures of teachers or our parents.

**63. We are not allowed to say the following things anymore:**

**- **But Minny said so!

- Remus is a prefect and if you don't do as we say he will give you a detention.

- Snape peed his pants while staring at treebeard. (Trelawney)

- I predict that tomorrow you will be killed by a werewolf!

- Narcissa and Flitwick made out on top of the astronomy tower.

- But Professor, If I do I will be killed by a:

Werewolf/vampire/Lily/chimera/pink fluffy bunnie/sock person

- (Sirius) If you don't, my mother will come and kill you.

- I came, I saw, I snogged!

- The Giant squid and I are getting married next month and you're invited.

- Peter has a viral infection and if he touches you, you will die a slow and painful death.

-James and Lily are an item.

- Minny and Albus sleep together.

**-** Snape isa girland currently has her period.

- Madam Pomphrey says that if I do any work I will die.

- James has been taking steroids to win Quidditch.

- Sirius and Peter have been stalking you!

- We know where you L-I-V-E!

- I have found out that Remus and Narcissa make out next to the Whomping Willow! #Just for your information, THAT'S NOT TRUE!#

- Albie and Minnie have named this day as bash the Slytherins day!

- Minnie is pregnant and Albie is the father!


	4. The utter randomness of life

**A/N: Sorry to everyone who reads this story, my computer was down for AGES!**

**MWPPMWPPMWPPMWPP**

**64. **Dare everyone in the great hall to kiss the person on their right. (Especially if James is sitting next to Lily!)

**65. **Dress up as girls and find out who the girls like.

**66. **Use polijuice potion to disguise ourselves as teachers and hold a class on 'how to prank people.'

**67. **Steal Remus' diary, enlarge it and use a permanent sticking charm to stick it to a wall in Professor Dumbledore's office. #What are you on about!# (Sorry Moony, just daydreaming) #I don't OWN a diary!# Yes Remus, you believe that!

**68. **Run up to Minny, kiss her on the cheek/lips and say: You look good sugar-lips!

**69.** Blackmail Remmy to use his powers as prefect for 'the good of evil.'

**70. **Blackmail Remmy.

**71. **Try and sweet talk the teachers.

**72. **Set Narcissa up on a blind date with Flitwick.

**73. **Dare Remmy to kiss Peter. #EWWWWWWW! James that was gross!#

**74. **Dare ANYONE to kiss Peter

**75. **Strip in public. Or pretend to strip.

**76. **Put Peter under the Imperious curse.

**A/N: Well that's all. I'm sorry it's so short, an that it took so long to upload. (Dodges flying book) It won't take so long next time! Please Read and Review.**


	5. FINAL CHAPTER

77

**77. **Not allowed to tie down students and cut and wash their hair, even if it's for their own good.

**78. **Not allowed to purposefully stop pulling pranks and look innocent when Filch comes along until he goes mad believing that we're planning the Prank Of All Pranks.

**79.** When explaining how and why we did a prank, not allowed to demonstrate said prank.

**80.** Even if dared to by other teachers.

**81.** Not allowed to offer a dragon's egg to Hagrid if he lets us explore the Forbidden Forest.

**82.** Not allowed to kidnap Lily and try and get her to like James.

**83.** Not matter what anyone says locking Remus in the boys dormitory/med wing if someone says he looks a bit peaky/sick.

**84.** Remus is not allowed to kill the person who lockeds him in said room (Sirius/James occasionally) Even if he has good reason to.

**85.** Not allowed to go into the Muggle World and scare them, using various methods. Magical or Non-Magical.

**86.** Not allowed to scare Proff. Treebeard with a large black dog stalking her, even if it's for revenge because she keeps on saying that Remus is going to die or that she keeps on seeing signs of the Grim around him.

**87.** Even if Minny says it's a good idea.

**88.** Not allowed to turn Regulus into a pig, even if he acts like one.

**89.** Not allowed to transfigure people into the opposite sex for the day.

**90.** No running into the Great Hall at breakfast screaming. Full stop, no exceptions.

**91.** Not allowed to bash Severus Snape. 'Muggle style'

**92.** Blackmailing Remus by withholding chocolate is not productive. The teachers get very annoyed and are likely to give detentions until said chocolate is returned to Remus.

**93.** Encouraging Sirius in any of his tendencies and ideas is FORBIDDEN!

**94.** Transfiguring other students into various potted plants or animals is a really bad idea and strictly forbidden.

**95.** No taking polyjuice potion, turning into certain Slytherins and doing embarrassing things in front of the whole school.

**96.** When asked as to why one marauder licked another marauder in the face (or any other student) and as a result got hexed; the inappropriate answer to why he was licking him in the first place is: "Because I thought he would taste nice!" And if asked sarcastically if they tasted like said marauder originally thought he would, it is unacceptable to answer, "Yep. Just like chocolate!"

**97.** Being caught plotting the murder of one's family is not a reason to try and go through with said plot before the person who caught them tells their family.

**98.** As been told earlier the socks, bunnies and potatoes are not trying to take over world so it is not allowed for someone to run into the classroom screaming that they are trying to take over the world.

**99.** Encouraging Peter in anything other than school work in front of teachers will earn a detention. Even if it's for a good cause.

**100.** Bewitching the Quiddich balls to swap jobs is illegal and if we are caught doing it again (even though we weren't caught in the first place, just blamed.) we should expect Proff. Minny to inflect deadly pain in the form of more private time with Severus Snape. AKA Snivelus.

**101.** Not allowed to stop doing pranks.

**A/N: DONE!! Yayayayayayayayayay!**


End file.
